'So the darkness shall be the light and the stillness the dancing'

"you do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother."

grandpa still awakes startled at night howling past the kwanyin goddess and towards the moon. he can no longer hear your spirit come but he can still feel you as he longs for your hands to rub his back, back to calm.....

i use to see you in my sleep, lost you since but now through meditation,your spirit breathes......and through a gentle breeze at the monastery, i can just taste the childhood memories of burnt rice chips and your fon saw dumplings...唵嘛呢叭咪吽

"I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church. For you and I are daughters of one religion, and it is the spirit. "

he knows.

on saturday mornings as I am
still curled up under his covers,
he wakes me up with music.
he knows.

a love poem.

i never forgotten how to dance in between the night time gun fires, shooting in between shooting you and shooting up, shooting stars-we're all always looking up...
but then...
love comes along. (what does love got to do with this?)
and you realize when one falls, we all crumble.
i, walked away wounded hearted-
i, ricochet off toward the wind; in crutches.

we fast foward,

i still sleep with my hands under the pillow,
a familiar last stance. grip. a veteran.
fire still reminds me of the way bumble bees move,
deadly and pretty.
like roses laid silently in cemeteries.